Down the Rabbit Hole

More...

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 20:01:47 GMT

So...as most of the people who are really close to me know, Matt and I were having problems for a very long time. Marraige councling didn't help...time didn't help...trial separations didn't help. So last week I finally screwed up the courage to leave.

It really hurt me a lot to do so, because I love him very much...and I hated hurting him like that.

He seems to be taking it well though...already found an attorney, and is boxing up anything I left behind so that it can be picked up. And if everything goes as planned, the divorce should be final by the end of May.

...I can't believe I'm going to be 28 and divorced. It's all sort of surreal to me...this is so not how I planned my life to be.

I've moved to Salt Lake City...not sure if it's for good or whatever...we'll see where I end up. But for now, I like it. It's beautiful here, and the atmosphere is nice.

I just hope he's okay...there are so many times I find myself missing him. Like...I found the masonic lodge here in SLC...it's a huge old building that I know he would have appreciated. I wanted to call him and tell him about it...but I know I can't. I'm not sure we'll ever be at a place where we can be friends...I don't think he's like that.

I suppose those are the sacrifces we make to make our lives better...

I've done it...

Sun, 13 Apr 2008 19:46:05 GMT

I left my husband. I moved out last week. More to come later.

Tue, 22 Jan 2008 18:21:45 GMT

"I believe it is the duty of every man to act as though the fate of the world depends on them. Surely no one man can do it all. But, one man CAN make a difference.” -- Adm. H.G. Rickover

An update

Sun, 11 Nov 2007 22:47:31 GMT

...

My husband and I are separating. I'm moving out this week to stay with friends. He says if I don't know if I want to come back but the 2nd of December, that I won't be welcome back at all.

...

Sun, 12 Aug 2007 02:36:38 GMT

Someone once told me that while he thought cheating was bad, if it was with someone you sincerely loved, is wasn't AS bad.

...but I haven't gotten to ask him...what happens when you think you're sincerely in love only to find out that person is just not that into you? Does that make the cheating even worse?

Fun times...

Mon, 30 Jul 2007 16:11:12 GMT

So I'm driving along the highway heading home last night. I was going about 85 (addmittidley, a teensy bit higher than the speed limit) and I see some debris on the highway, so I make a mental note to avoid it. As I'm driving along all careful-like, a guy on a motorcycle pulls out and cuts me off, forcing me to have to swerve into the slow lane to not hit him..and drive over the debris. Next thing I know...

BAM! *thwap, thwap, thwap*

That's right...flat tire. I pull over immediately, and pull out all the stuff to change it to the spare. But I can't get the lug nuts to budge. Called the husband...he drove out and changed the tire...made it look easy. >.<

I look at the old tire...there's an old rusty screwdriver buried to the hilt in the inner edge of the tire. :( I was a sad annoyed panda. Drove to Walmart, since it was nearly 6:00 by this time, and got 4 new tires...might as well since they were kind of needing replacement anway. But I wasn't expecting to have to drp that kind of money last night. :(

le'sigh.

Going through old entries and adding tags...

Sun, 08 Jul 2007 19:35:32 GMT

And I found this from 200, and I liked it, and want to post it again in the updated version (though a few are the same)...feel free to grab it for yourself, cause it's neat.

I am not: Always as happy as I pretend to be.
I love: That I still have a chance to be something great.
I hate: Being afraid.
I fear: Being forgotten.
I hope: Constantly.
I hear: Best when I stop talking.
I crave: Salt :P
I regret: The one and only thing I've only told one person about.
I cry: At movies.
I care: Too much.
I always: Exaggerate?
I believe: In something.
I feel alone: Even when I'm with people.
I listen: When it's important
I hide: In a crowd.
I drive: Too fast and reckless.
I sing: In the car.
I dance: When there's no one around.
I write: Much less than I should.
I play: Too much.
I miss: My grandparents.
I search: For happiness.
I learn: More from people around me than I ever learned in school.
I feel: Restless.
I know: More today than yesterday, but much less than I'll know tomorrow.
I say: Whatever's on my mind...though sometimes I shouldn't.
I succeed: When ever I really try.
I dream: In colour.
I wonder: About the future.
I want: Something I shouldn't.
I give: To those who matter most.
I fell: But I'll get back up.
I fight: For my friends.
I am: I hope so.

Vacation and sick time...

Mon, 02 Jul 2007 17:51:00 GMT

So the husband and I took about a week and a half off for our anniversary, intending to go to on a camping trip through California, Oregon, and ended in Yellowstone. We never made it. We ended up getting sick, staying for two nights in a hotel in Boise...and coming home. Ugh. I got some great pictures at Crater Lake, but I was really looking forward to Yellowstone. We realized though that what with being sick, we really wouldn't enjoy the trip anyway. So I'm back at work feeling thouroughly robbed of my vacation time. :(

When I get home, I'll upload pics of Crater Lake...because they really are beautiful.

Hm...

Wed, 06 Jun 2007 20:28:43 GMT

*checks the calendar*

Yep...just as I thought...June 6th.

So...

WHY IS IT SNOWING!?!?!?!

/sigh

Tue, 29 May 2007 20:18:54 GMT

So I'm at work...and they have me doing this project which is just mind-numbingly dull. I'm doing queries to find bound premiums...not a big deal, not hard in any way...but all I'm doing is...

Crtl-C, Click, Crtl-Q, Crtl-V, Enter, Click, Click, type the amount, Enter

No big deal right? No...not really...it's really the sheer mass of queries I'm doing...over 3,000..../sigh...that's a lot of "Crtl-C, Click, Crtl-Q, Crtl-V, Enter, Click, Click, type the amount, Enter"

...I need a better job...

Hi...

Sun, 29 Apr 2007 20:46:08 GMT

I know I've been MIA for quite a while now...so hiya to all those who've hung in there.

I guess part of my "vacation" was due to the fact that I really only started a journal here because it was a way to stay connected with a very close friend who has since decided that not only are we not close, but we're not friends. So it bothered me a lot to see her linked on other friend's journals...and making comments. I hated that I worried about her, wanted to keep up with the happenings in her life, but that she didn't want anything to do with me.

Another had to do with me not having much to say. There were things going on in my life that I really just didn't feel up to talking about. They're still there, but I've started thinking more and more that writing things out, even if they can't be read by others, will be a good thing for me.

So here I am, posting again. Hopefully regularly.

I have missed you guys...and I look forward to reconnecting with you all. :D

Thu, 19 Oct 2006 04:00:40 GMT

jenniffer's Halloween party:

300_miles dressed as a bear.
6_sigyn_7 dressed as Martin Sheen.
8daze_a_week dressed as a bottle of Certfluuline.
aintesduck dressed as Kelly Hu's father.
ancient_exile dressed as a welcome skeleton.
aqualectra dressed as Mr. Sulu from "Star Trek".
aubkabob dressed as a character from Harry Potter and the Hound of Newark.
aubreystar dressed as Nicole Kidman.
bd1 dressed as a chicken.
cathedralscream dressed as Ozzy Osbourne.
chemdragon1 dressed as a new member of the Wu-Tang Clan, Unlucky Leader.
crystal_blitz dressed as Herbert Hoover.
cuppa_joe dressed as the Governor of Maine.
curbus dressed as Jennifer Lopez.
datalopez dressed as Optimus Prime.
destinymanifest dressed as a disturbing self-made character called "Snotty Hamsterhead".
dorei dressed as a zombie.
dyketit dressed as a assistant sheet spreader.
february_mad dressed as a delivery.
flyingkarategrl dressed as Claudia Schiffer.
g_n_o_s_i_s dressed as Jerry Bruckheimer.
genepool23 dressed as the Lord of Avanphex.
goingincirclez dressed as a safety for the Jets.
golden_lotus dressed as a Level 10 wizard.
hairpasta gets drunk, strips naked, and somehow emerges dressed as a vampire.
hippityhops dressed as Mary-Kate Olsen with her very own conjoined Ashley.
hollowfyre dressed as a cigarette, though it looked more like John F. Kennedy.
jelleebeaner dressed as the love child of Dan Quayle and Janet Reno.
joxertd dressed as a third baseman for the A's.
kafkadiestoday dressed as a porcelain effort.
kat_lindquist dressed as a Ikon Office Solutions employee.
kerrowyn dressed as a skunk.
ladyofbrileith dressed as Jimmie Carter.
leighc dressed as your cousin.
leopard_printed dressed as something modern, but what, specifically, you can't tell.
merridoe dressed as a third baseman for the Twins.
ministry_slut dressed as a character from "Metropolis".
moving_fingers dressed as a sea skeleton.
nashoba_clan dressed as Squidward.
newdreams4me dressed as a Level 5 sorcerer.
olivejuice18 dressed as Will Smith riding a cow.
onyx_tears dressed as a goblin.
paralegal21 dressed as the Legal Power Ranger.
peacelizard dressed as a intrusion.
poetrist dressed as Mary-Kate Olsen with her very own conjoined Ashley.
raggedy_ann72 dressed as Trent Reznor.
rmahorney dressed as Tipper Gore.
royannadawn dressed as Karl Rove.
ruth_barron dressed as the Duke of Oakdale.
rwarner dressed as a 1990's grunge child.
secagtwm dressed as the spirit of their dead grandmother Becky, and it suited them disturbingly well.
silentserenitee dressed as a new superhero: Thunder -wave.
soulresilience dressed as a disturbing self-made character called "Skipper Pizzabutt".
sunshinedydrm dressed as the equator.
thunderslug dressed as a fork.
uworld003 dressed as Optimus Prime, though it looked more like a interrim bastard operator from hell.
whisperingmaia dressed as a character from "Double Indemnity".
woundedwolf dressed as the King of Solomon Islands.
zesty_pinto dressed as a sympathetic eyelash.

Throw your own party at the Hallomeme!
Created with phpNonsense

Mon, 09 Oct 2006 16:59:56 GMT

Another day at work...*sigh*

On the positive side...we're getting a weather system down from Canada, and it's supposed to snow down to 6500ft. Now...that's about 2000 feet higher than my house...but it's getting closer!!!

Did my first UBRS run last night. It was me (55 mage), a 52 druid, two 60 rangers, a 60 priest, a 60 mage, a 59 shammy, and three 60 warriors. Even with me and the druid, we didn't wipe once, and we ran the whole thing. I was really hoping my magisters chest peice would drop...but the wtupid warrior one dropped instead. Ah well, we'll go again. Besides, I was happy to see a guildie get one of his raid tier pieces.

My guild's shaping up to be quite exciting. I started my own guild about four weeks ago, and it's really flourishing. One of our members brought in some 60's and that's really encouraged the others to level up, and we're getting some high quality recruits.

I made a web site for the guild yesterday at work...yes, we're that slow...and they seem to like it. It feels good to be running a guild. Once I get leveld...and a few of the others that are close...we'll have about 20 level 60's who play almost daily...so we'll be good to go on some higher end raids...which will in turn bring more 60's and we'll start being able to do endgame. I'm so excited.

Okay...hehe.../end geekiness...

I joined a gym last week, and am going to start working out with a couple of my coworkers. It'll be good, because I really need to get in better shape...I can't keep putting it off. One of the girls runs three miles a day, I know she'll be a good motivation.

um...lets see...nothing else I can really think of...I keep checking the calendar wondering how kerrowyn is coming along...waiting expectantly for that phone call. Justin better call me if she can't...or Sal...*sending expectant looks toward San Jose*

...I really want a dragon roll right now...been craving it all morning...

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 17:55:06 GMT

Having a really bad morning...

got in a car accident with a guy who just drove off...my car's not hardly hurt, but still...

got to work to find out I didn't get the new position I applied for, can't seem to get anyone to tell me why....

I'd really like to go home now.....

Yay for driving too much!!!

Mon, 02 Oct 2006 17:30:50 GMT

Went to visit kerrowyn and her hubby, Justin, again this weekend. Kind of a last minute thing, so I could go to Ren Faire with them on Saturday. Was so much fun. But the sucky part is I forgot my camera. Bah, so no fun Ren pictures for me...*pouts*

kerrowyn is looking great and though she's due on the 23rd, I have a feeling she will be having her baby any day now. I'm so excited...I just hope littl emiss Haley dosen't come so quickly that I won't have the opportunity to get there in time. It'd be just like one of Justin's kids to do that to me. :P

I have so much fun visiting them. I really wish they lived closer...cause I'm back to work now and feeling wiped...5 hours dosen't sound that long, but it really really is. *sigh* Totally worth it though.

If I missed anything this weekend in all y'alls posts, let me know...I'll be trying to catch up on them today.

Getting totally excited for Halloween...it's definately my favorite holiday. My work had the teams do themes and there's a costume contest. My team picked "Monster Mash". We're going to have all sorts of different monsters...Frankenstein, a werewolf, zombies, a crypt keeper, ghosts, and vampires. I'm going to be a vampire. Should be mui bueno. We do a full decoration of the work area...some of you may remember last year when we did POTC. We didn't have a lot of planning time last year, because we didn't even come up with out theme until about two weeks pre-H'ween. So this year I think our decor will be even better.

Wed, 27 Sep 2006 23:25:34 GMT

I've decided to pimp one of my friends out...cause she's relatively new to LJ and she needs more friends...oh...and she's awesome. Just about one of the most awesome people I know...and my bff...*giggles*

So...anyone needing new interesting people on the FL...go add kerrowyn...cause you should....

giggles

Tue, 26 Sep 2006 22:09:33 GMT

How White and Nerdy Are You?

I'm so bored.

Ug....

Mon, 25 Sep 2006 16:44:57 GMT

My allergies are really acting up today...I feel like I was out drinking with my friends all night...without all the fun of going out drinking with my friends. And my ears feel like they do on a plane during take off...

So yeah...I pretty much just want to lay comatose in bed today...but since that's not an option, I'm at work.

Speaking of...I worked the Harley Financial tent at Street Vibrations in Reno this weekend. That was fun. Ya know, for the most part, those Harley guys have a bad rep...90% of them are totally awesome guys. And fun to talk to. I really had a good time out at the booth. I hope I'll get to work more events as they come up.

I got to sit on a XL883 while I was there, among other bikes...the Harley Motor Company had a tent too...I think if I end up getting a Harley, that's the one I'll get. It's a good starter bike...the smaller engine size makes it a bit more manageable than some of the others...so...yeah, I'd want to take the Rider's Edge course first. But honestly, with the employee purchase plan, it's crazy for me not to ride...or at least buy...

*sigh* Must find better allergy medicine....

hm...

Wed, 20 Sep 2006 19:18:32 GMT

Neo-Conservative
You scored 36% Personal Liberty and 58% Economic Liberty!

A neo-conservative believes in moderate to high government intervention on personal matters and moderate government intervention on economic matters. Unlike most other conservatives, they may tend to support a social safety net, though to a lesser extent then most leftists. Others are more capitalistically inclined. They tend to support war, police powers, foreign intervention and laws restricting personal liberty. Neo-conservatives tend to emphasize foreign policy. Neo-conservatism is the result of "fusion" between "old left" and "new right" tendencies.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 8% on Personal

You scored higher than 86% on Economic

Link: The Politics Test written by brainpolice on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Mostly, yes...I think this is right...except the foriegn intervention...I don't agree with that part at all.

Tue, 19 Sep 2006 18:08:32 GMT

I went down to visit kerrowyn this weekend for her baby shower. She looks just beautiful! I'm so excited for little miss Haley to be born.

Had lots of fun hanging out with her and the boys...wish I lived closer so I could more often...or that she lived here. Stupid Nevada with my stupid lack of close friends.

Doing my best not to be bitter at work, which is hard to do...

oh...and I bought another pair of shoes. I think I'm going to start a photo catalog. *snicker*

Wed, 13 Sep 2006 04:25:00 GMT

I uploaded my Rascal Flatts pictures into one of my galleries if anyone's interested in seeing them...

http://pics.livejournal.com/jenniffer/gallery/0000z37p

...cause I'm too tired to create the fancy link...

Jury duty tomorrow...so I'll be MIA

Tue, 12 Sep 2006 20:48:44 GMT

The HR rep called me today and officially informed me I did not get the job. He said the team would have some feedback for me, and that he would get that to me soon....

this really fucking sucks.

Thu, 07 Sep 2006 19:36:25 GMT

Well, interviews are done. Talked with my inside friend...he says I'm choice #2. That there's one other cantidate before me. He dosen't think she should get the job, he dosen't think she can handle it, but he's not in charge of hiring...and she'd never turn it down.

So it's pretty much a chinch that I didn't get it...

Thu, 07 Sep 2006 14:29:17 GMT

One hour and 40 mins until my interview...and I am totally and utterly nervous. I don't know all the technical stuff I should. At all. Took my home computer apart last night so my husband could go through and help me have a visual for all the components we were talking about.

Still going to be hopelessly lost. Because I can't possibly remember it all.

One of the guys that works up there, the guy who got me a job at Harley in the first place, helped prep me yesterday. Gave me a list of things that they'd probably ask. Two of them I'm having a little trouble with...

#1 What was the biggest mistake you ever made and how did you fix it?
#2 Tell me about a time when you had a bad/difficult customer and how you handled it.

Thing is...work wise I've never made a big mistake. So...do I say that? Wouldn't it seem like I was trying to either a) talk myself up, or b) hide a REALLY bad mistake? My husband says I should go the personal route and say the biggest mistake I ever made was to not go on to continue my education right out of high school, but that I'm remedying that now by going to school. But what if they want a work related mistake? I think the biggest mistake I ever made was when my drawer was $20 off one time at Wells Fargo....and that's not exactly a big mistake...most of the girls did that at least once a week...

And I have a good difficult customer story....but it's from a really long time ago and I think I should try to think of something more recent...

Think I might talk it out with the girls at work...

Oh and on a complete side note...I now have three new friends! Everyone welcome bd1, raggedy_ann72, and aqualectra!!! Play nice.

Wed, 06 Sep 2006 21:11:12 GMT

Been really slow today at work. So I've been playing with an idea I have to fix my tattoo...

It involves adding more of the trinity knots...adding four acctually...making a total of five repeating in a circle with their top tips touching...then having a circle behind them.

My idea is to have it in black and gray...very dark black for the outlines and gray shading inside...if I can figure out a way to get my sketch scanned in, I'll post it.

My problem is, I don't draw very well...so they don't match....but I'm working on it. I have plenty of time.

In other news...meeting with a friend to help me prep for my interview tomorrow....oh, that's right, I forgot to tell y'all....I have two interviews tomorrow for the IT position I've wanted so badly. Though in our pre-talks I can already tell I'm horribly under qualified. I just hope I can BS my way through it enough that they give me a chance. Cause I know I can learn it all very quickly.